Good Advice for White Knucklers

A good friend, appropriately named Joy, in a casual conversation said "so many of us are white knuckleing every trial in our life when surrender is the only answer." Another friend, Jenny, keeps looking at me and smiling as she says "It is what it is, Susan." In a song, on Francesca Battistelli's "My Paper Heart" CD Francesca sings "I feel like I'm falling and that's what it's like to believe." I've been "white knuckleing" it so long my knuckles are transparent. Anyway, when I was told I had some invaders in both my "girls," I found myself two nights later starting to lose it, feeling out of control and like, well, "I was falling." Finally, the encouragement of the Lord, the truth and directions in His Word kicked in. Finally. Did I say that...Finally. I "set my mind on things above (Jesus) not on things of the earth, I sang, hummed songs to encourage myself and to acknowledge God's care over my life. (Big sigh) I found victory in doing what God, who created every thing my puney little eyes could see, God, who healed me in 1991 from a crippling disease, Whose compassion in March and April of this year helped me to know His heart, I found peace was ruling in my heart where fear and anxiety had possessed me for years. Surrendering is so scary but bottom line, rather I "White Knuckle" it or surrender my will, it is "still what it is." It is my decision rather I am going to freefall with God as my parachute or if I am going to hold on and continue to ruin my health and mind by the damage fear and anxiety do. By the way, the "girls" are staying with me. This time I won - I didn't let worry and anxiety during those days of waiting steal all my strenth. I just went on with my daily routine reminding myself once of twice that "it is what it is" and "surrender" to God's will might feel like I am "falling uncontrollably, but Jesus has never failed me yet. Joy, Jenny, Francesca thanks for being the voice of the Lord to me - I fight the good fight of faith with your counsel.